I read the news today, oh boy (band). There were 12 detectives outside Justin Bieber's home. 12 detectives?! and 8 cop cars. 8 cop cars?! Seems a like a pretty significant use of resources. What drew the ire of the boys in blue?

"THE SHERIFF'S DEPT. WAS INVESTIGATING IF BIEBER WAS CONNECTED TO AN EGG-THROWING INCIDENT LAST WEEK."

Were they wearing non-stick vests with their whisks drawn??? Did they get balistics on the shells and shutdown the Cul-de-sac?! 

Why was there a police stand off like Pacino trying to take down De Niro after the big bank heist in HEAT outside Biebers house for something that happened every Devils Night of my entire childhood? "A guy told me one time, Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

Actual TV headline on HLN: Justin Bieber has some Egg-splaining to do!

190 Marietta St, NW
Atlanta, GA 30303 

That is the address for HLN Headquarters in Atlanta. I will go halfsies with anyone who wants to get 6 dozen free range hen eggs, fly to Hot Lanta and make an Eggs-ample out of the people that write their headlines. 

Quote from an online article about this ridiculousness:

"Sheriff's officials said the incident had been classified as a felony because the homeowner reported the value of the damage to his house at $20,000."

$20,000??? Are the gates outside the home made of Platinum? Is the walk way Gold-encrusted marble from Rome? Is the Door made out of galvanized snow leopard toe nails? Are they going to clean up the eggs with a Rembrandt original?

The display of force outside a teenagers mansion for a crime just above Toilet Papering someone's treehouse and subsequent coverage that was all over my TV and computer today makes me hate everyone involved. Egg-specially myself.