Yevgeni Malkin is a very Russian sounding name. His brother's name must be even more Russian! Must be something like Boris or Igor or Anatoly or Konstantin or Vyacheslav. What is it?! .... Dennis? What?

That doesn't sound Russian at all. Its sounds like the name of a manager at Boston Market. Hello my name is Yevgeni and this is my brother Dennis. How was your Chicken Carver? The only brother pairing that has more of a cultural discrepancy is D'Brickashaw Ferguson and his brother Gary.

I am rooting for Malkin to do well in these Olympics. Not because I want Russia to win, its more for Dennis' well-being. Putin has been sitting extra close to him during their games. Nobody in the KGB would flntch at the order to take care of Dennis.