Spinning Taint Easy.

After I ran 6 miles yesterday, my friend Steve suggested I join him and his wife for a SPINNING class Sunday morning. I am looking for alternative cross-training and from what I've heard, this would kick my ass (I'm foreshadowing). I asked Serena and she really wanted to try it so we met them there this morning. These classes are always completely packed at my gym. People show up 30 minutes early to sign-up and put their clothes on the bikes to claim them. It's like the Fourth of July in Canonsburg

As the class began and I started sitting on the bike, one area hurt more than any other area on my body. It wasn't my thighs or calves. It wasn't my knees or my lungs. It was my Taint.

(Taint: The rough patch between your beanbag and your buckeye.)

I made it through the whole class and it was a great workout, but the music and the blunt force trauma to my "neither" almost did me in. The last time I listened to that much techno, I was at the Paintball Arena in the Strip District at a Rave listening to 7up spin in 1999. I realize maybe 2 people will get those references, but that's alright. I've come a long way from stumbling through smoke-filled warehouses in a valor jumpsuit, music pounding so loud I couldn't think, lasers animating the ceiling like some kind of J-Lo video gone way wrong, just so I could be somewhere with my friends for the whole night. Now the only binky's in my home are my kids. 

(pic of Paul Rudd in This is 40)

I was starting to get worried about my left ankle and knee, so we went to True Runner in Shadyside. Its where I bought my running shoes and I wanted to ask them if there were inserts or something I could do to help me. The girl who helped me was extremely good. She had me walk away from her and she immediately told me I had the wrong shoes. She told me what I have, but I didn't know the word and then stopped paying attention. I know that's terrible, but when somebody says a word I don't understand its like watching a foreign film with no subtitles for the rest of the conversation. (if anyone has any suggestions of what I can do to my ankle and knee for longs runs, please let me know.

I got this pair of Sauconys. She said they would give me the support I needed and they exchanged them for the Nikes I bought there March 4th. My first thought wasn't "I am so happy I got the right shoes for my training that will alleviate my pain" it was "Shit, none of the Nike gear I already bought matches these shoes!" 


Even at the True Runner store they were serving pizza! I'm telling you, its my destiny. I didn't indulge. 

Tomorrow is stretch and strengthen. I will be foam rolling and doing some work on my core. That is a sentence I have never written before. If I stare at it, it doesn't even make sense. I might also try to get a massage. I might have to go Travolta on the masseuse and ask for a Taint Rub.