Why do girls always forget to eat when they go out drinking? Do they starve themselves on purpose because they know they're gonna be consuming extra calories? Did their paycheck not clear yet? Are they fasting to fit into the outfit they bought from Forever 21 five St. Patty's Days ago?
The top 5 drunk girls you can run into on St. Patrick's Day:
5. The kissing whore. She has open-mouth kissed ten guys today and you're next. She is a walking/talking boner machine, but she's not going to stick around and finish what she started. She is going to get a beer and and a jello shot out of you and leave you standing in a puddle of green beer with a boner. Hit the bathroom, tuck it up under your belt and take a shot of Rumplemintz to wash the taste out of your mouth.
4.. The sloppy one. She is kinda hot, but horribly drunk. She walks with the aimlessness of a zombie and looks like she's been on one too many late night drive-thru runs. She's usually wearing a shirt that is at least one size too small. She has been carrying her shoes for three bars and now the bottom of her feet look like she's been river dancing in a chimney. She's going to try to lean over and kiss you, but probably fall off the stool and pull you down with her.
3. The Smoker. She has two packs of Marlboro Menthol's in her hand and she needs a lighter. She has a purse full of gum and diet pills and dates a drug dealer. She puts a straw in a bottle of beer because she doesn't want to smudge her lipstick and probably has bedazzled finger nails. Give her a light and get the hell away from her.
2. The hungry one. She doesn't care what you're talking about because she has been thinking only about food for the last hour. No one in her crew is on the same page and she is about to turn into the angry one. Your best bet is getting food with her and seeing if she turns back into a normal person.
1. The public pisser. She just left a bar with bathrooms. There are bathrooms at the next bar she's going to. They put extra porta potty's out specifically for this day. None of that matters because she is going to stop walking suddenly and pull her tiny kilt down and pee in the street. Be a good friend. Take a picture.
Honorable Mention: The angry one. She has a lot of shit she hasn't worked out in her life and it comes out when she drinks. She will disguise it by hating on the bar that her friends chose, the service, the line for the bathroom, ect. She usually is the leader of the group. If you plan on hitting on her friend, use caution.
-- OK, lets work our way backwards. I didn't post yesterday because I went to the Bastard Bearded Irishmen show at the Rex. Those guys kicked ass! The Rex was jammed! So pumped for them. No St. Patty's Day in the Burgh is complete without a stage full of Bastards and a fist full of pale ale. Great times!
I went to Aiellos and had 4 slices after the concert. Just can't get right with my diet. I'm locking it down and not drinking until after the race. Its going to be tough, but I don't want to set myself up for being hungover or binge eating late at night. I turn into the hungry girl when I drink.
I had my 5 mile run yesterday with SSRR (Steel City Road Runners) and I killed it! Well, I ran it in 45 minutes, which was faster than I ran 4 miles last week. Really don't care about time at this point, but it felt good. Plus I ran alone.
There was a small group of people running 4 miles, but they were all beginners so I clearly couldn't run with them! haha Also, I will probably run the half alone so I want to get used to going on long runs by myself. I ran from the 16 street bridge along the river, down about a half mile passed Rivers Casino and back. Beautiful views of the city the whole way. My hands were frozen and I was arguing with myself, but I never slowed down or stopped. Really feeling strong. And hungry.