I know Craigslist has Missed Connections, but do they have Missed Apologies? I would like to make an entry:
LA Fitness -- MA2W (Man Apologizing To Woman)
You were a big black girl on the elliptical. You seemed nice. I farted on the elliptical next to you and totally underestimated how bad it would be. You shot me a dirty look and then got off the machine and left abruptly. I kept going and acted like it wasn't me, but it was. It was definitely me. I am training for a half-marathon and have been eating a lot of protein and fiber. I may or may not have a leaky trap door. Looking into it. I am sorry for ruining your workout.
Last night I ate a huge piece of cake. My mom dropped off left-over Mineo's and cake yesterday. I am trying to cut out chips and soda and have been eating pretty clean lately, but I may have to cut out my mom. She's constantly tempting me with bad decisions. She's like a drug dealer and her meatballs are better than Heisenberg's blue meth.
People keep asking me why I am restricting my diet. I am not eating healthy because I want to lose weight; I am eating healthy because I want to feel healthy and have more energy. For the better part of my life, I've had a terrible diet. Pizza all day and zebra cakes at midnight. I don't give a shit, I'll eat a whole birthday cake in bed. Doesn't have to be my birthday. If food is fuel for your body, I might as well have been the DeLorean from Back to the Future. I just put garbage and banana peels and beer cans in there. Change in diet is essential to my training.
I am still pretty sore, but I feel great. I have noticed (and this may seem stupid) that I have the sudden motivation to take care of little stuff; clean trash out of the car, pick up dirty clothes, organize and open mail, clean up, ect... I was totally erratic with those kinds of activities. Some days I would be on top of it, some days I would be like a hoarder just living in my own madness; clothes and dishes piling up, toys all over the floor, laundry scattered throughout the house. Having energy to do the little stuff has had a big impact.
I am using the Hal Higdon training program for the Half-Marathon. Its a twelve week program, but I am jumping in at week 4. One of the women that I ran with last Saturday suggested this program and my pal Big Joe in the sales department upstairs mentioned it and printed me a copy today. Both swear by it. Its free. Click the link if you're interested and print one out!
Really happy that the incident on the elliptical didn't end like this wrestling match. Again, so sorry.