I am currently on day 1 of my training for the Pittsburgh half-marathon, which takes place on May 4th. Its less than 60 days away and I hate running. This should be fun.

Every year since I’ve had kids, I set the goal of getting in the best shape of my life and every year I fail miserably. Imagine Rob Ford’s goal is to throw the ball 100 yards. This video is the perfect metaphor for my goal of getting in shape.


I have no energy. My entire day is spent trying to figure out exactly what it is I need to do to get to a point where I can just go lay down. I’m not present in any conversation, I’m not emotionally available for anything happening in my life, I’m just running down the checklist in my head trying to figure out what I need to do so I can go lay down.

I want to be present for the best years of my life. I have spent a lot time chugging coffee and red bull and looking for the easy fix. I think about taking HGH every day of my life. Not even to get ripped, just to be interested in a conversation in the middle of the afternoon. I don’t want to abuse the drug and spend my whole day in the gym, I just want to finish a book!

I’ve heard there is a zen quality to running long distance and if you run long enough a mantra just starts repeating in your head. The only thing that repeats in my head when I'm running is “STOP RUNNING STOP RUNNING STOP RUNNING.”

Last night I ate half a bag of chocolate chips (Serena is a baker and always has a stash in the pantry), finished the bottom of a bag of Lays classic (that my mom and dad pushed on me because “We got a bag for free Bill! Take one of them, we are going to throw it out!"), then I came down and crushed two more bags of chips from my daughters lunch supply. I was up till 2:00 am, slept through my alarm and was late for work. GREAT START!

Serena got me a fitbit. It's a wristband that measures how many steps you take each day. It can be your worst enemy if you start your day by sitting for 4 hours. If I know I am about to take more than 10 steps and I don't have it on my wrist, I go and grab it, because I don't want any steps off the books! They must be logged and counted toward my totals. 10,000 steps is a good day. I also got a new pair of running shoes. I've got a problem with purchasing new running shoes. Pretty stupid for someone who hates running!

Day One:

Breakfast: Coffee and a banana

Snack: 2 hard boiled eggs and yogurt

Lunch: Salmon, rice and broccoli

Snack: Smoothie- Peanut Butter, Banana, Protein

Dinner: Eggs and sausage

I ran 2 miles on the treadmill. Took a nap this afternoon. You know what Matthew McConaughey looks in the interrogation room in True Detective? That's what I woke up feeling like.

The time between dinner and bed has been a wasteland of bad food decisions for me. Hopefully I can stay disciplined. Or keep it to one bag of my daughter's chips. Stay tuned.